Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
