ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
