I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
