is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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