you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
