1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
