I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Slut skills are useful in every country.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
