Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
