I wannas sexs uuuuu
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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