I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize