You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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