I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
