So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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