I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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