My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
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I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
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WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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