Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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