if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize