and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
