he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
