Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
