this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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