his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
