How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
