I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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