The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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