Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
