Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
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It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
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I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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