people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
