I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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