Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
whose parrot is this?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize