i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
