She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize