I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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