When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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