I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize