he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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