I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
