I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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