took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize