so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
