I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Are we still banned from the library?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
