So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
