My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
