If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
