if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
