i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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