does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize