Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
