he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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