You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
