I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
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lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
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Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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