Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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