He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
