we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
