i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Randomize
