The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
there is glitter all over my balls
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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