i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She bit a glass in half.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
